My Detroit Bailout.

Since literally everyone in the blogosphere has weighed in on the Detroit bailout, and all I've put in was 1 of my 2 cents, I figured I better say a little more. So here is my carefully structured Detroit Bailout Plan.

1. All money comes in the form of an interest free loan, payable after 5 years, at 10% of loan value per year.

2. All money comes from the existing $700 billion bailout package already in play.

3. No money comes from the $25 billion already promised to the Big Three to retool their factories for more efficient cars.

4. An automotive company receiving any money from this legislation shall produce:
a. Vehicles under 2000 lbs. shall achieve 35 mpg highway or better, no exceptions.
b. Vehicles under 3000 lbs. but greater than 2001 lbs. shall achieve 30 mpg highway or better, no exceptions.
c. Vehicles under 4000 lbs. but greater than 3001 lbs. shall achieve 25 mpg highway or better, no exceptions.
d. A vehicle shall not have more than 1 horsepower (measured at wheels not at driveshaft) per 10 lbs. of vehicle.
e. Vehicles over 4000 lbs. shall require a CDL class license to operate.

5. No automotive business receiving money from this package shall receive government assistance for a period of 15 years or until this monetary package is repaid, whichever comes first.

6. All positions at any company receiving government money shall be limited by the Federal Income limit imposed based on Presidential pay, that being, total compensation for an individual shall not exceed $400,000 per fiscal year, with an additional $19,000 for travel. Any individual that reports a gross income of higher than this amount on their IRS tax receipt shall forfeit any income that exceeds this amount to the Federal Government as a direct-principal payment towards their companies' bailout package payoff. Any employee of a company who does not report all income received by them, their spouse, and their dependents shall be subject to investigation by the IRS.

7. All employees over the age of 55 at a company receiving money from this package shall be immediately given the standard company retirement package and shall retire. Of these, any employee who leaves the company and reports income outside of the retirement package that equals the value of the retirement package shall forfeit their rights to retirement from the company.

8. All employees currently receiving disability payments from a company that accepts bailout money from this package shall immediately report to a government-approved physician (see attached list) for evaluation. Employees who cannot prove true need to remain on disability shall either return to a full-time work schedule or terminate their employment without benefits or compensation. Any employee currently on disability leave over the age of 55 must report to a government-approved physician as well; those qualifying as disabled will be retired per item 7, those not will be terminated from current employment without benefit or compensation.


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